[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons
[30.0s] new Laura you come out with what looks like an old great sword the hilt of it
[35.5s] though it's engraved with the face of a dragon
[38.9s] Flint you find three different potions Thea you come out with a pair of
[44.5s] boots that look very fancy you guys head back out the way you came you hear
[48.7s] the grumbling sounds over type creatures you guys you good you got
[56.8s] stuff didn't you I cut off one of his legs so he like like below the knee so
[62.2s] he falls and then I then I chop off a head we're big fan of beheading you
[66.7s] guys make your way up and out you hear from the waterfall as the giant
[77.1s] stands in the crest in the waterfall and you see his face from behind him
[83.0s] comes a train that explodes this giant door opens up and off steps a tall
[97.1s] well-dressed older gentleman right on time every time there my name is
[103.0s] dancin I've been sent to bring you to bring you back to the guild for a
[107.0s] little little stop-in visit and that he goes back up to the front of the
[110.8s] train the train begins to pull away um so you like died back there we're not
[116.1s] very good at fighting dragons so that's a bit worrying but I'm sure it'll be
[120.8s] fine right we'll be fine you got underwear or not I open the shirt up
[125.7s] and show her the blue dragon scale that is growing on my chest that's
[131.7s] weird as fuck train begins to pull into the station you step off onto
[137.2s] the platform and dancin says I'll be right here waiting for you when you're
[142.7s] all ready to go welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we are a fifth edition actual
[148.6s] D nope nope oh you said the name so good though you said the name so good
[152.8s] it was a real good start this is where editing editing magic comes in welcome to
[157.4s] Dumbgeons and Dragons we are a fifth edition D&D actual play podcast you
[163.8s] look that's out of work now we are an actual play fifth edition D&D no we are
[168.7s] a fifth edition we are a D&D fifth edition actual we are a D&D fifth
[173.2s] edition actual play podcast how long it's in your long-term memory and now
[181.3s] you're trying to pull it from short-term memory and that's not where
[183.7s] it is no just let it come out just naturally let it flow what are we
[188.4s] welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we are a fifth edition actual nope fuck
[192.6s] it's gone okay sorry all right well podcast over welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we are a
[200.3s] D&D fifth edition addiction oh shit it's contagious we are a fifth edition D&D actual play podcast I'm
[208.6s] your dungeon master Russ More and with me today are all the lovely
[214.0s] people Tom Laird oh hey that's me shocked me there Russ yeah I play
[219.4s] Flint Firebeard and Carla Johnson hey that's me I play New Laura Moonbrook and Amy More that's
[226.1s] not me oh no wait that is me well what a twist right it's a game I can't keep up
[231.8s] nope I play Thea Amastasia I seriously almost said Thea New Laura yeah welcome everybody how
[243.7s] did you know this is episode 40 oh that's a milestone the big 4-0 I mean it's no 50 we'll
[250.7s] get there and 50 is gonna be almost like two full years which is crazy yeah they're both
[258.0s] now be what 52 if it's if we've kept on schedule mm-hmm mm-hmm all right so we have
[264.7s] to plan something special for 50 ish okay excellent so anywhere in the 50s we'll do
[271.2s] one thing very special everything else will be normal I think it should be a live like a like
[277.0s] a live where everyone hears all our fuck ups so you think they hear most of them 10 minutes
[284.2s] trying to do the intro that's true do you mean live in front of people or live the four
[289.7s] of us are together oh I was just thinking like live stream a game I mean I would love to be
[296.5s] together that sounds terrifying it does also fun I don't think people didn't come to see
[305.6s] we'll just get the house lights turned real low so we can't see anyone it's fine you just
[310.4s] turned them up very briefly at the beginning to just set that set that fear tone and then
[315.5s] you'd get them to turn them way down then the stage lights way up yeah you can't see
[320.1s] a thing I think I would actually kind of love that I think I would love playing
[323.4s] live in front of people me too but I have an acting background yeah so yeah exactly like I've
[328.3s] been on stage in front of lots of people that's no problem I can walk out it's fine you know
[332.4s] yeah I mean and then I'd remember like wait I'm not good at this that's the difference
[336.9s] they all already know that true you know what Amy true you're right no one's coming to see
[342.9s] us to learn how to play listen they already know we don't know how to play okay I'm gonna
[348.7s] need Amy to wear her pink bathrobe though if we're doing that oh god yeah you would have to
[353.8s] um and I'll bring some popcorn Tom can make cheesecakes I can bake things sure days okay
[363.6s] we have to make enough for the people in the audience which there'll be like five people so
[366.7s] that's yeah no kidding oh yeah 100% yeah okay I like this plan for future 50 ish yeah yeah
[374.3s] okay maybe maybe a hundred we'll see yeah at least like something special how about that
[380.3s] something special TBD sounds great I like it well yeah we'll talk about that later if you
[386.1s] want to see more things that are special we're on Patreon true you like like like these
[392.0s] beautiful faces which I'm gesturing at but you can't see but if you were a patron at
[397.5s] five dollars a month or higher you would get to see these these faces I wasn't comfortable
[405.0s] continuing to refer to myself as a beautiful face yeah well that's what we call Carla she's
[412.8s] the beautiful face yeah yeah Tom is a beautiful beard oh thank you thank you Russ is a beautiful
[418.0s] mind mm-hmm excuse me I'm going into the numbers tank just let me and I don't have
[427.0s] one for me so beautiful soul beautiful beautiful body I know we were all thinking it but no one
[436.5s] else would say it I love you Carla yeah Patreon.com slash dumb Dragoncast you can get all of this
[444.7s] great stuff all the time and actually that's not true once a month you get it once a month I
[450.0s] don't want to sell it worth Tuesday yeah I feel like I didn't I started like we started
[455.3s] complimenting each other this is a real problem we have we just start complimenting each other
[458.7s] and don't finish our thoughts if you support us on Patreon five dollars a month or higher
[465.4s] then once a month we do like a live goo-kang thing where people can like watch us and ask
[471.9s] us questions and hang out and there's an episode was really fun it was really it was
[476.9s] kind of just like bullshitting with friends yeah and if you support us you could get a
[481.1s] random shout out which I totally planned before this and I'm not just gonna go grab a name he's
[486.5s] not vamping for time at all vamping for time it's randomly he's gonna start scanning right
[492.3s] now this episode 40 is dedicated to you Darryl so thank you for being a patron you rock
[508.1s] thanks for binge watching the intact yeah wow damn it binge listening that's dedication and
[515.9s] it's a little crazy it is it's more than we generally require from our listeners yeah it's
[523.1s] okay to just be a casual yeah okay but not with Carly's dad this is like family we're
[536.2s] talking about here I meant like a casual lover of the podcast that's my casual lover of the
[542.0s] podcast I knew what you meant thanks oh okay you guys have just stepped off the train at the
[551.8s] guild of the nine shadows into a very lovely train station Danson has bid you adieu and said
[560.9s] he will be here when you get back at which point he'll figure out his voice previous episode
[566.9s] if you missed it very difficult episode for me ten minutes of bloopers where I couldn't say
[572.1s] a fucking thing in any any accent so we'll see if it gets better you head on your way as you
[578.6s] have to take it gets better I don't think that's what the hashtag is for oh is that not it I
[584.7s] don't think so okay where are you guys heading okay you'll get it Tom you'll get it it's fine
[594.5s] I would like to go see somebody about these potions that we got okay the best bet that
[603.8s] you know of in the in the guild would be Ozarks Bizard if that's the first star you want to make
[609.4s] let's go there cuz he's got he's got all that good shit he got it all going on yeah you got
[617.8s] it all going on so as you remember Ozarks Bizard is on the third floor so you head yeah I
[622.7s] totally remember that Russ you didn't remember that you head to the lifting machine the the
[629.1s] elevator that's what it is that's what it is they're referred to as lifting machines
[633.8s] in there now in this word they're called lifting machines and you hit the third floor and you
[639.3s] head up and it opens up right into Ozarks Bizard which is a very incense filled room as you
[645.6s] remember and it's quite there are a couple people kind of milling about lots of cushions
[651.5s] around I imagine it to be tapestries yeah yeah I imagine like like what a like a Maharashtra
[658.3s] yes yes that's what I picture too but like with treasures everywhere yes yeah yeah like
[664.8s] with some soft sitar music in the background too yeah exactly yeah you don't see Ozark
[670.4s] directly but you do see some other people human one one male one female a dwarf and
[676.5s] an elephant both males and then the the front you could call it a desk area it's not really
[684.3s] like a cash area because there's very little cash dealings in the guild they just kind of
[688.5s] give you shit but there's a bell on there you want to go ring it or talk to anybody oh yeah
[693.5s] Sia loves a good bell so she just walks over and just ding ding ding ding ding ding
[698.2s] Ozark baby you here hello good to see you all again Ozark it's good to see you too he comes out
[708.1s] of the beaded curtain as he does and he's exactly as you remember him he's a crotchety
[713.4s] looking old man with a bit of a flair and very nice robes and he says oh my goodness
[719.7s] it's the Nulara and Flint welcome back it's good to be back where have you guys been for
[725.9s] so long I don't I don't get told much no we've been we've been everywhere went to the Misty
[731.7s] Forest for a while and it's been we've been everywhere been a while since I've been there
[736.2s] oh what brings you back what brings you back here we're hoping you can help us solve a little
[741.6s] mystery about some items we found a mystery yeah I love mysteries what kind of things show
[748.9s] me also for real y'all I wrote down all the potions I just have mine but because I'm real
[754.2s] selfish like that I think I show me show me I have I think I have a red potion that Glimers
[765.6s] when something happens that is illegible so yes a red liquid Glimering potion okay yes
[773.3s] he he he takes it from you and shakes and he says oh yes yes this is this let me test it
[781.1s] here just two seconds and he grabs out like a little eyedropper of and goes to the table
[787.9s] and pulls out a series of like papers and stuff and drops a little bit on and starts
[791.8s] to like it doesn't spark but it like there's a reaction and a little smoking and he says
[798.0s] yeah this is this is just a a potion of healing funny that it smokes trust me it's
[806.6s] fine and what what kind of healing does it do tell me it does amazing healing it if you
[815.4s] were to talk about it in weird like breaking a fourth wall since it would probably be
[820.4s] like 4d8 plus six and he tosses it back to you thanks Ozark all right I've got
[827.2s] a couple other potions here does do you have any more Carla I think that's my
[831.6s] only one I also got a rusty sword what should I do that rusty short what's that on your hip
[836.8s] there rushy short sure sure sure sure sure the guild is supposed to be top-notch you're carrying
[843.3s] around rusty shitty swords what is that so I hand him an old dirty rusty sword with an
[850.2s] engraved hilt with the face of a dragon on it hmm you think this is anything this piece
[856.2s] of trash that I've apparently I mean on the surface we don't like to judge books by their
[863.8s] cover here but on the surface this is a piece of garbage on digging below and he starts to
[870.6s] flick away some of the rust and dirt and he's more focused on the the hilt of it and he says
[876.3s] this I'm gonna need to run a couple tests and clean it up a little bit just to be sure but
[883.5s] I've heard of something called a dragon slayer and this design fits the bill so if it is come back
[894.6s] before you leave and I'll just make sure that it is and if it's garbage well it's garbage but
[898.7s] trust me I'll tell you if it is because you guys go up against a lot of dragons how's that
[902.9s] going by the way not but hey we are currently all alive that's very well phrased I like it
[911.6s] all right what else you got Tom what did I get I believe you got a silk robe with gold
[923.0s] embroidery if I remember correctly that was that he is oh sorry so yeah not not there okay did
[932.8s] we bring it for him so that he knows what to do with it or did he already know he was
[936.3s] wearing he was wearing that motherfucker he's not giving that up because you guys were trying
[940.3s] to steal it from him I remember being like dude can I have that and he was all like just
[945.1s] straight up Mike you know it would look better on me anyway your old-ass fanny's looks
[951.8s] terrible whatever he'll die soon anyway and I'll take it off his body I also have sorry he's
[959.3s] one of our best friend NPCs fucking you guys can kill you for your if I die you guys feel
[967.2s] free to just like you know hey look through my pocket to know whatever you want ditto yeah I'm
[972.8s] on board with that plan I have a yellow potion that was written down that I don't have attributed
[977.7s] to anyone was that for Amy maybe that's mine sure yeah yellow potion oh yeah he takes a look
[986.1s] at the potion says like unless it's really good and that I want it back yeah for real
[990.3s] like flips it around and checks it out and holds it up to the light there and he says
[996.3s] well it kind of looks like pee but it's probably not I mean who puts pee in such a nice flask
[1003.5s] not most people he does the same kind of test okay doesn't smoke up take a swig of
[1018.5s] it's a dangerous game oh yeah yeah it gives him a look like smells the potion doesn't smell
[1026.1s] like it doesn't it smells kind of fruity like maybe they ate a lot of pineapple before
[1032.5s] Ozark my man I trust you and and see it takes like the little sip you take the little
[1048.2s] sip and you don't feel anything wrong and he's like yeah yep that's exactly what I
[1053.0s] thought it was puts the stopper back on it and hands it back to you new Laura and
[1057.1s] Flint you see the skin begin to change yellow okay it's a prank potion so roll the d4 I'm not
[1068.0s] using your dice rolling it's a two so your skin might change back in about two weeks
[1078.3s] I think you're what that's what it says oh wow Ozarks kind of a dick yes yeah is not
[1093.1s] happy sorry happy at all I'm not even to carry this fucking put like who like why why
[1103.2s] I'm gonna keep it anyway put it in my bag what else you got over there the other one I have two
[1109.7s] more written down I'm not sure if they were attributed to me or to Thaddeus but we'll say
[1115.5s] they attributed to you because I think you found a good number of them anyways okay there
[1121.5s] is a what's a new potion with a small drop of red that expands and contracts mm-hmm does
[1130.5s] those are go what does this one do he looks at it and doesn't have to do any test he's like
[1138.0s] that's a potion of dim dim diminish dim diminution dimmin diminution it makes
[1145.6s] you small or it makes whoever drinks it small how small safe would you like to
[1152.1s] test it on me see it's a little bit better no I didn't know it wasn't gonna hurt you
[1158.3s] yeah there's no reason why I shouldn't be yellow for two weeks hmm well I mean it'll
[1165.9s] cause for some interesting RP or opportunities a question about that potion there Ozark do
[1172.7s] people have to drink it or does it just have to come into contact with that no they got
[1179.4s] to drink it so yeah it basically reduces you to like half half your size for 1d4 hours and
[1189.1s] yeah that's that's that's about it okay I got one more it's a it's a red liquid with
[1195.9s] a small sliver of something in it small sliver of something yes that this could be
[1202.7s] mm-hmm mm-hmm and he he takes a small swig himself and he come on no you know he takes
[1213.4s] a small swig himself the one that makes you rich this one makes your penis enormous
[1220.4s] really was it's a good thing this is an audio me yeah you just scarred people for life it's
[1233.2s] fine and he walks over to what looks like he's what looks like it's just a very large
[1240.3s] iron statue and he's like Flint Flint you come and try and lift this for me all right do
[1246.3s] anything or do I just fail miserably roll a strength check so that's a six so yeah you can
[1258.7s] you just it's been a long day and you just I mean even though you had a long rest on on
[1264.8s] the train but you feel like you can't lift this so it's it's a very heavy object and
[1269.4s] needless to say but he goes up to it and he takes one hand and he lifts it like above
[1275.3s] his head tosses the potion back to you and says it's a potion of what I believe is fire
[1281.8s] giant strength well all right then what do I need to know about that from a technical side
[1288.6s] of things for us so when you drink this potion your strength score changes for one hour to in
[1296.6s] this case the type of a fire giant which boosts it up to 25 Wow you so strong and what's a bonus
[1307.3s] on a plus 25 well 20 is plus 5 so 20 is 5 6 7 so it'll be a plus 7 total I think for just
[1322.3s] for strength so yeah but that probably is what yours is for all your weapons and stuff yeah for
[1329.5s] it yeah for any yeah yeah cuz you're a big strong boy you're a big old axe and he says
[1338.1s] anything else you got yeah I think that's everything I have written down anyway there
[1344.4s] was a thing for flammokins but she's not with us then we can't really get an answer
[1347.7s] about that boots on oh man I got these that high boots going on anything special about these
[1354.2s] apart from how amazing how look I was gonna say how much they clash with my new skin
[1361.7s] banana skin tone at this moment oh and when she says banana that glowing orb that I got
[1366.6s] in the dragon's cave like comes out of my bag oh you got a drift boat too those are fun hard to
[1378.7s] hide but I mean they let you see a lot yeah that's really funny I remembered cuz it just
[1391.3s] happened yeah looks at the boots and begins flipping through flipping through a book those
[1402.5s] I'm not mistaking our boots of levitation Oh shut up I don't mind being yellow so while
[1412.6s] you wear these boots you can use an action to cast the levitate spell on yourself at will
[1417.8s] that's fun good oh I I do have that bow as well I think it might just be a standard bow but I
[1426.3s] might as well ask them since we're here yeah you hand him the bow and he looks it over as well
[1430.1s] it's just a it's just a regular bow but if you leave it with me I can make it a little
[1433.9s] bit fancier oh yeah I mean oh I like fancy I mean I never knew you to be a bowman but
[1442.3s] I mean stranger things have happened yeah I've got some shit going on every now and then
[1447.0s] there's as well I mean I've been waiting for you guys to come by you remember these and he
[1453.9s] pulls three keys out of his pocket and we stare blankly at him having no memory of
[1460.1s] second isn't this how we get our things yeah it's like our safety deposit box our
[1469.7s] surprise safety deposit box it's like well is this the exact conversation we had last time this
[1474.7s] happened probably but like probably did you guys ever grow up and get your hair cut at like some
[1480.7s] kind of chain haircut thing and you put your hair in the thing and like spun a thing and then
[1485.1s] it did a whole thing and then you got a prize I never once heard of that but it sounds
[1489.6s] amazing really fucked up and weird what what's like your hair you use your hair like a quarter
[1495.3s] to get a trinket yeah so like when I was a kid it's like a government program to collect
[1504.4s] no like I this is my recollection of how it worked I was a small child but when you got
[1510.0s] your haircut you would like get some of it just like off the floor they'd like hand you
[1515.4s] some or whatever right like they cut your hair it's wherever and then you put it in
[1519.9s] like like a magic cabinet and you put it in and you close the door and then you like spin the
[1528.1s] thing like a turnstile thing you know and then a price came out it was just like a you know
[1534.1s] it didn't it didn't make a prize with the hair guys just was like I'm gonna go immediately
[1540.8s] into the garbage but it was like it was like a vacuum type situation just to take the hair
[1547.8s] away I see anyway so just me I dream no okay I'm gonna say that there was like a string of
[1556.1s] unsolved murders that all have like freshly clipped hair on the scene and they've never
[1561.6s] once found a suspect for a little did we know it was the beaners haircutting store
[1568.9s] yeah exactly okay well so yeah anyways let's not let's not add that part in this like
[1574.9s] slandering all this bullshit about hair has been cut out don't worry okay not beaners great
[1585.5s] clips let's not slander anything ultra cuts no that exists to super cuts that also exists I
[1594.9s] think that's a thing yeah great no banging expectation that's one store done somewhere in
[1605.7s] the states it's like we're gonna need a salon in game called bang and bangs they just opened
[1613.0s] up upstairs if you want to go get yourself a little walk off of sorts okay so I guess I'm
[1619.6s] gonna like take a key yeah you want the key the walls over there good lord talking about
[1624.2s] here for so goddamn long what you like SRP thank you Ozark do I get to pick one or does
[1632.9s] he give me one of the three I can't recall doesn't matter okay then I take one and walk
[1639.2s] over to the wall and put it in a slot and turn it roll your percentile dies I will
[1647.3s] I got it ten so or or a or a one however you want that so the the mechanisms behind the wall
[1658.2s] go and it releases a small capsule and she didn't even have to put her hair in didn't
[1664.8s] know hair required and you you crack it open and inside there is a kinder surprise a tiny
[1675.0s] princess and I love it there is a what looks like a boat a palm-sized broach of sorts doesn't
[1683.2s] have a pin on the back but it kind of looks like a shield and Ozark quickly snatches it
[1687.3s] from you and goes and looks in his book and yeah yep yep this this here and gives it back
[1694.1s] to you is what they call an animated shield and what does that mean so when you got to do
[1698.7s] is while holding this shield you can speak its command word as a bonus action to cause it to
[1706.2s] animate the shield leaps into the air and hovers in a space to protect you as if you
[1711.3s] were wielding it leaving your hands free oh that's awesome the shield remains animated
[1716.5s] for one minute until you use a bonus action to end this effect or until you're
[1721.6s] incapacitated or die which you never do right almost never I don't want to say never mm-hmm
[1729.5s] good good at which point the shield falls to the ground or into your hand if you have
[1736.1s] one free and and I said it was a small thing but it's an actual fucking shield I misread
[1743.0s] that okay yeah so there's a large capsule that comes out it's massive and you crack
[1750.2s] that open and there is a large shield inside if she looks special shield way up is she going
[1755.8s] to see like a gumball like way at the top like a gumball machine type dome that has
[1763.4s] all these capsules in it and one just kind of like rolls down that's what I'm picturing right
[1771.0s] now Ozarks says just next next time you come in I'll show you where it all comes from don't
[1777.1s] next time next time I have time to plan for that bullshit Russ can you I like that you
[1785.0s] answered as Ozark yes I'm trying to keep the voice I liked it um is there like more
[1793.3s] stats to that that you just want to send me it gives you a plus two to your AC okay Ozark
[1800.4s] what is the command word you tell me oh god I'm so good at making these up you guys it's the
[1807.4s] best the first time you say it it will be so okay think about what you're likely to yell in
[1813.3s] a battle Nulara like holy shit or oh fuck this or so far I have these are my things
[1822.3s] banana and these are right command words so far first round Nulara is just talking to
[1832.7s] herself I'm gonna I'm gonna float something out there shieldy McShield face and you don't you
[1840.5s] don't have to say it until you want it to animate so it will just be a shield that you
[1845.3s] have to use until you give the command word okay so it's always plus two days see if I'm
[1850.2s] holding it but I don't have to hold it and I'm sorry how long does it last one minute so ten
[1856.9s] rounds okay and then it just drops into your hand or to the ground if you're no longer near
[1863.7s] it you're dead can I I'm gonna I'm gonna think about it yeah get back to me on that all right
[1870.5s] who's next I am roll it turn it I put my key in and I turn it and I get the exact same
[1879.5s] world that I rolled last time an actual smaller capsule comes down this time after the mechanisms
[1888.8s] go and releases and you crack it open and out comes a necklace with what looks like like a
[1896.1s] disk with an etching and carving of armor but not armor for a person armor armor for more
[1903.0s] of an animal he looks at it and checks his book and he says yeah we're getting this a
[1908.5s] little more fine-tuned here this is what they call an amulet of barding so you shapeshifter
[1915.3s] when you shape shift you shape shift into an animal that will now have armor on them as long
[1921.9s] as you are wearing this giving awesome as your as your animal figure plus three to your AC
[1931.7s] you'll be the toughest wolf in all the realm I will be what do I have to say to make this work
[1939.4s] you just have to wear it neat I put it on what color is it what color is it I think it I think
[1947.5s] there's like a like an emerald in it or something sure sure yeah all right Flint you're
[1952.7s] all right I grab my key and walk over and throw it in the wall turn it and 90
[1961.5s] machine and I'm crushed to death by a large capsule and just the biggest motherfucking
[1971.6s] thing drops from the sky not even from the little the boulder from Indiana Jones
[1977.7s] and just crushes me yeah no one about the size of a we'll say like a melon comes out and you
[1985.9s] crack it open and there are there are bracers inside and they have intricately designed bows
[1995.0s] and arrows and he looks at it and he doesn't even need to check his book he's like those
[1999.0s] you're really leaning towards that archery bullshit those are bracers of archery so when
[2007.1s] you're wearing those you get a plus two plus your proficiency and all that to your attack
[2015.3s] and damage rolls on top of everything else you already have for any such proficiency and he
[2023.1s] looks to Donnie and he says last time I think we forgot you Donnie and he hands Donnie a tiny
[2029.0s] key and there's a there's a smaller keyhole beside the large one there's like a special
[2036.2s] animal best friend keyhole we've upgraded since the last time since the last time you
[2043.2s] guys came through seems like years ago and Donnie turns it and outcomes a yeah a small
[2052.2s] capsule that Nularaaa I assume you break open and it's a small gold collar and Ozark looks at it
[2063.9s] and checks it out and he's like well you you keep that on him that's what is called a collar
[2071.4s] of evolution so as Donnie permits while wearing it he will turn into a gold dragon wormling
[2080.8s] how much bigger is a wormling than a pseudo dragon well a pseudo dragon is like cat size a
[2090.4s] wormling is what's called a medium dragon so they are bigger I will send you all the stats
[2100.1s] and stuff that is exciting that is so cool I'm so excited for Donnie yeah Donnie's gonna be
[2107.0s] baller I don't think you'd ever say no to that you'd be like Donnie now and you'd be like I don't
[2111.5s] feel like it is it do I ask him or it's when he wants to he well I mean I mean we speak
[2121.2s] psychically all the time so it's like we're sympathetic you can command him but he you
[2127.2s] know as as action takes place he can as a bonus action morph into a green or a gold
[2134.7s] that's really fun Ozark I know what I want my my shield command word to be so I guess I'm like
[2143.2s] holding the shield and I'm gonna make it happen my my command word is going to be Contego
[2150.8s] that's Latin for protect or defend trying to class I'm trying to class this shit up a little
[2157.0s] bit more than banana like it I thought it was like banana I thought it was like one of those
[2161.8s] water bottles that they carry around these days well you can find a pack of three of
[2169.4s] those for a really decent price at fantasy Costco it's true sure yeah yeah so those
[2174.5s] Contigo water bottles must exist in game because they have them at fantasy Costco right
[2179.2s] naturally yeah all right you got it and it leaps in the air in front of you and as if you
[2187.9s] were holding it it it moves and follows your your your direction so fun I'll check out that
[2195.2s] sword there for you get it all cleaned up and see if it's something um otherwise good
[2199.4s] seeing you guys yeah oh sorry just quick question yeah do you have anything in here
[2203.1s] that can cure a prank potion I mean yeah but it's kind of funny this way he's chuckles
[2209.2s] to himself and goes goes into the back and comes out and has sent you a small file and
[2214.6s] that'll take care of it oh man guys I don't know whether or not I should drink it yeah he does
[2223.4s] like a prank we've learned hey apparently so I open it and I take a little swig you gotta
[2229.6s] drink the whole thing my dear oh my god I drink the whole thing and you look at your
[2234.6s] hands and the yellow begins going away it's so for a second body was gonna say like it's
[2241.9s] darker like oh yeah exactly right now you're glowing in yellow yeah thank you yeah yeah no
[2251.0s] problem thanks Ozark see you later where you guys want to go now where should we go now
[2256.0s] rest so you've you've got your rooms the where Salazar's office we probably should check in
[2273.0s] how's your skin tone looking you ready yeah it's slowly fading okay okay so yeah he's up on the
[2282.6s] top top floor course you get back in back in the lifting device and and get lifted yeah it
[2290.6s] there's a whole bunch of numbers and indeterminate amount of numbers and we press the highest one
[2296.5s] you press the one that says top oh how about not even a number not even penthouse top no
[2302.7s] top okay oh they don't have the word penthouse in this universe no no no naturally and it you
[2310.8s] feel force as you rise up and you it overlooks basically the entire innards of the guild of
[2318.5s] the nine shadows which is very intricately designed and there are golden silver works
[2323.4s] and you see people working and running about and you slow to a stop and it opens up into
[2330.1s] the top floor and you follow a hallway and you get to an office administrators desk there's
[2338.1s] a smaller halfling female with big bushy permed hair and she looks up from her desk and she says
[2346.8s] you adventurers oh it's good to see you guys there it's it's if Salazar here we'd love to
[2354.2s] see him oh he's not here no oh he said he's out on a mission he I mean he said to let
[2363.4s] you know that he was he was hoping he'd be back disease you remember me right
[2369.2s] Enid Enid's the name Enid how are you Enid your hair looks great thank you I just had
[2379.4s] it done down at the the bangly bangs or whatever they call themselves bang and bang
[2384.1s] bang and bangs thank you yes you oh I hope you swing by they do a wonderful job I think
[2389.2s] the only hairstyle they do though so real misnomer with the name if it's called bang and
[2396.8s] bangs but what they do is per the hairstyle that's best known for bangs they're new on
[2402.7s] the scene well it looks great you look fantastic you know well thank you don't you know I mean
[2409.8s] it's good to see you guys he's he's out on some top-secret mission he said you could swing
[2414.6s] by the war room if you wanted to go talk to the Colonel over there oh you should make sure you
[2420.8s] swing by the vault too they've got this new new technology it's pretty fancy-dancy you just
[2430.1s] put all your money in it and then you get a little what they call it you can either get a
[2434.1s] fanny pack of holding or or a coin purse of holding what about cargo shorts of holding
[2443.5s] it's been a while since I've been down there they may have some some devices like that too
[2449.3s] okay well we'll we'll we'll swing by and and check it out and we'll we'll go to the war
[2456.2s] room too thanks Enid yeah absolutely swing by any time there I'll let Salazar know to get
[2461.6s] in touch with you once he once he gets back he's been gone for a while though so I mean
[2466.9s] should be back soon are you know where he went it's top-secret confidential is what he
[2471.5s] told me um I just say he's out fishing if somebody calls but I mean you guys are best buds you go
[2478.5s] back wait a long time true we do so yeah I don't know where he is all right thanks Enid sorry
[2484.6s] okay thanks Enid does Thea just look like totally crestfallen with this development
[2490.1s] I got unyellowed for him I take the yellow potion back that means but you guys hold me
[2496.8s] back okay so we go back to the lifting device I'm gonna we're gonna call it a slightly different
[2509.7s] thing every time we refer to it I think the lift atron 3000 like it mm-hmm mm-hmm hey don't
[2516.0s] don't waste them Tom we got more places to go do you want to go to the war room to see the
[2522.2s] Colonel or the vault to get some fanny packs I think Colonel first okay is there a button in
[2532.8s] the elevator that says war room or do we remember if we remember right we were here
[2537.7s] for a while before we know how to get there yeah you remember it's on the top floor oh we
[2543.3s] we walk out sheepishly cuz her desk is like right there and we're like this way yeah it's
[2557.7s] still down the hall there don't worry dears and yep I whisper we can't come back here you walk
[2568.1s] down the hall and there's the large double doors at the end of the hall which you
[2572.0s] remember to be the war room do you knock do you walk in what do you do oh we walk in kick
[2580.6s] the door open on our way in or what okay yeah that's fine no you know what you could take
[2586.8s] your super strength and just like fucking rip the doors off their hinges gonna waste my
[2591.4s] potion to open totally worth it you enter and it's a it's a very busy room and there are many
[2602.5s] people sitting around the edge and in the center there is a glowing map or a plane you
[2608.7s] know a map of is it real paper map or have we walked in on like some CSI shit where it's
[2613.9s] like all like a 3d more like more like that like strange technologies that that you don't
[2621.8s] remember seeing the last time you were here I mean you didn't spend a lot of time in the
[2625.9s] war room probably because you weren't as high up but you walk in and you see what looks to
[2632.1s] be you know the highest ranking individual as he's talking to some some other people and he
[2637.7s] looks over to you and he's gonna help you yeah we're and then we just pause just in case
[2645.7s] someone has like a brilliant name for our group still though no perfect but there was
[2652.4s] some good suggestions in the Facebook group I don't accept any of them because it's
[2657.3s] happen organically like I don't know how but we might be passed I don't think you guys as
[2666.5s] these characters will ever have a name for your agreed and that's fine wonderful
[2671.5s] so I say we're new Laura yeah amistad's yeah what Flint fire beer right right yeah Salazar
[2686.4s] told me that you you guys might be stopping by can't tell you where he went is there
[2693.5s] anything I can I can assist you with like do you guys need like a rundown from us is
[2699.0s] there a debriefing that needs to happen we've been given let me put it this way you guys are
[2706.3s] flying solo on this now thank you what we have been given direct orders to not interfere in
[2715.4s] other realms business so the most we can do is send you in but if anybody comes back to us
[2723.6s] from our organization or higher which there is higher we we deny that you guys exist so I'm
[2731.4s] very sorry that I'm the one who has to tell you this and you are sir oh me yes yeah no I'm please
[2738.7s] be Colonel mustard please be Colonel mustard Baron of bad news that's what I'm Colonel
[2744.5s] Reginald thermopolis is my name Reggie Reggie T it is so what you're saying is your organization
[2756.4s] no longer cares about the rise of Tiamat because now we're flying solo or is someone
[2764.5s] else working on this specific issue he looks around he kind of drawn attention from the
[2772.5s] room and he's like step step into my office here and you follow him into a an offshoot and
[2779.6s] he closes the door and say sit if you like but after we sent in the armor to help your
[2792.1s] military at Mirabar technically not our military the military of Mirabar okay let's I sit down on a
[2802.4s] giant beach chair he sits down at one of the like one of the bouncy balls that firm up his
[2814.7s] core yeah yeah you know he looks like a guy who works his core a lot yeah we I mean it went
[2821.2s] along with a whole string of other things that we've been kind of playing with but we've been
[2826.0s] told that we interfere too much in the world's issues is that as a plural not a singular world
[2835.2s] owning so we've been trying to fly as much under the radar as we possibly can not to say
[2841.9s] that we don't want to help you and we will try our very hardest to help you but you guys
[2846.3s] need to take the lead where you can Dancin in the train will do his best to get you where
[2856.3s] you need to go as he may have said maybe not you know we were doing this before we knew
[2863.3s] your organization existed I think we will be okay without your particular branding stamped
[2875.5s] on us if you do not want to publicly fund this little mission but let me just say when we stop
[2884.8s] the rise of Tiamat everyone will know it was the still nothing band of something I think we
[2895.5s] should be a band oh okay that's a good starting point yeah yeah yeah I understand and I wish I
[2904.1s] wish Salazar was here to to break it more eloquently than than I may have but he's he's
[2911.1s] gone he's been gone for a while and can you at least tell us where he went no why don't
[2918.6s] say top secret everything that happens here is top secret yeah can you tell us that he's okay
[2924.6s] not bad either hey Reginald Thermopolis not a lot not a lot from you anything any good
[2933.9s] news this has been just bad bad bad got anything good any good news um hmm uh tippy
[2944.5s] you guys like tippy yeah he might might might have heard from him oh well not directly we've
[2954.3s] been keeping an eye on on his his plane the the mechanist plane and it appears you remember
[2962.5s] how it you know was destroyed by an evil god and like everything disappeared and yeah yeah
[2970.4s] back in time somehow to be yeah went back in time to get there it popped back up on the
[2976.1s] map we're not sure how it happened he hasn't touched base he hasn't he hasn't reconnected
[2986.6s] that's okay because it turns out no one works for you anymore hmm zing he is throwing shade
[2992.7s] all over the place I can appreciate that I can appreciate that if you hear from him we will
[3001.5s] be sure to not let you know because you don't give a flying fuck about us anymore also I thought
[3006.3s] tippy was a girl no tippy's definitely always been a male character no but remember that one
[3011.7s] time I thought it was a girl I don't know maybe that's confusing it's hard to gender of robot
[3019.3s] right can someone explain robots to me tippy's in an androgynous creation so you know who
[3027.5s] created tippy in their world creatures okay yeah we're getting too deep here that's for another
[3037.3s] episode long long ways from now when when tippy comes back and it's hard not to have these like
[3043.2s] really kind of deep existential conversations when you're so relaxed on a big chair like
[3048.6s] I am you just want to talk about like world where do we feel like where do we come from
[3056.9s] changed after she died we had a hair braiding situation she was more open and like feeling
[3063.5s] than she has ever been that's true maybe maybe we're seeing a little bit of a softer
[3067.7s] side of Nulara she realizes man life is fleeting why do I put up these walls you
[3073.0s] know like walls Nulara especially when I'm a human like I'm gonna die so much before you
[3080.2s] guys I know I'll probably forget about you before I die I mean you didn't have to say it
[3087.2s] like that exactly Reginald Thermopolis it's just like not this whole conversation that
[3096.2s] is happening in character in game in his office right now and then I say oh by the
[3101.0s] way we don't care about him anymore because he just told us to like take a fucking flying
[3104.6s] leap so well do you think that he would care that um um I can't wait to hear what you're
[3113.5s] gonna say right now no I just I forgot his name um he gave a shit about narenvane at all
[3120.2s] because he's kind of like a leader's son like you care about narenvane like is that
[3125.7s] like is anything like what is on your radar like if now you guys are pulling back what
[3131.1s] do you care about is it all just like under the radar stuff and everything's still okay
[3135.9s] and you just can't put anything on the books or are you really like fuck the world let's
[3140.1s] just see where it goes believe believe me we are doing what we can to help you
[3150.9s] I cannot say how we are doing that at this moment but know that we are still in your
[3162.1s] corner but we cannot send in mass forces for fear of disrupting the bAlydince of the universe
[3175.1s] okay of the universe so wait we had access to mass forces this whole time and didn't use them
[3181.4s] and we asked you once for armor and now we're cut off fuck we should have asked for more you
[3187.1s] guys it's true little missed opportunity well next time yep um we will provide you with what
[3194.1s] you need um as you need it um but we we cannot we cannot send in uh large you have to you have
[3204.3s] to try and make this work okay so just keep doing what we're doing then okay got it perfect
[3212.4s] uh well i'm awkwardly getting up out of me bag chair now there's no way to not awkwardly
[3217.5s] get up out of this do you do you take like a good 30 seconds to do it and we're like
[3221.7s] we're ready to leave but we're watching you and everyone's just like i end up just like rolling
[3226.7s] onto my knees and then standing up because it's all a choice it's you know at some point you
[3231.2s] just gotta you just gotta leave the room in a huff it's hard to it's hard to huff out of a
[3237.5s] room from a beanbag chair it really is this is a lesson learned yeah that gives you a little
[3242.7s] bit of a takes takes a wind out of your sails a little bit like well we're leaving
[3247.9s] yeah and then all the beanbag adding beanbag noise right we'll have to
[3251.9s] whatever that beanbag fully will be like a bag of rice i can imagine i'm not sure
[3255.9s] yeah sure yeah okay well oh yeah perfect yeah so we go those like those bags you put in like
[3262.8s] the microwave and warm up yeah like magic bags or whatever they are yeah yeah uh as you as you
[3269.2s] leave uh his office he he doesn't say anything but you look back to the glowing map and you
[3274.4s] now see that it's illuminated in a way that it appears to be showing hundreds of
[3282.2s] thousands of modron type creatures tippy type creatures forming what looks to be some sort of
[3291.1s] strategic military take a little mental picture that's fun yeah uh do question do we still have
[3300.4s] a radio i'm pretty sure new laura still has it yeah uh okay do you guys want to hit the vault
[3313.3s] yeah let's go vault it up might as well
[3319.4s] ouch feeling a bit abandoned there sorry about that folks but i mean
[3323.8s] you had a 40 episode cutoff hey there i'm your dungeon master Russ More thank you for
[3328.7s] joining us for episode 40 of Dumbgeons and Dragons titled return to the guild first off a bit of a
[3334.7s] rundown for the schedule coming up june is going to be a fun and busy month of releases on the
[3340.1s] channel here we will have our two regular episodes one of which includes our mega big
[3346.5s] ultimate podcast crossover episode that includes the talents of victoria rogers from the broad
[3352.3s] swords katie maywebber from dungeons dice and everything nice keith ross from bros and
[3357.1s] dragons kurtis boland from Dumbgeons and Dragons and daughters and jeremy aLexa from the dice
[3363.5s] unkind that happens june 6th then june as well is women in tabletop gaming month so we will have
[3371.8s] two bonus episodes released on our off weeks where amy and carla have for the first time
[3376.3s] dm'd their own super fun one shots those will come out june 13th and 27th get ready
[3382.1s] for those another way you can support us as always is directly by joining the Patreon
[3386.2s] community over at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast you can have your say in how the dumb dragon
[3391.9s] world is created by joining our monthly goo gangs contributing mpcs and now even creating weapons
[3397.9s] magical items or something even more wild and crazy plus after four months of being a part
[3402.8s] of the Dumbgeons and Dragons community at specific levels we'll just send you some swag
[3407.5s] because you rock supporting us on Patreon makes the show better with each episode and allows us
[3413.5s] to do new cool things for you so we hope you'll check it out and join us on the road to adventure
[3418.1s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast all of our social media links can be found at dmdragons.com
[3424.0s] including that facebook group where you can join and potentially win your very own copy of morden
[3428.1s] kindness tomofoes on may 29th so go check out the website and join follow or like where
[3432.7s] you can today and thank you to sirenscape for some of the amazing atmosphere and music make
[3437.2s] sure you check them out at sirenscape.com to bring your games to life you've just got to
[3441.7s] be using it at your gaming table the next episode will be out June 6th with our mega big podcast
[3447.1s] crossover episode share with your friends let them know about us and hit subscribe if you
[3451.1s] haven't already let's get there though and see what's next for the adventures as they wrap up
[3454.9s] their visit to the guild of the nine shadows have a great couple weeks we'll talk soon
[3459.5s] go in the lift evader the lift atron yeah
[3471.5s] uh and it is on the sixth floor as you recall so you hit the sixth floor and you go down
[3479.8s] and it opens up into a very busy bank like situation big carved archways and there is an
[3488.1s] open teller he's looking down at a at a scrap paper that he's writing on there not not like
[3493.8s] a ledger or anything but literally like a post-it like like it's kind of ripped like he ripped it
[3498.8s] out of this is a super professional place you guys i walk up to him and i say hello good sir
[3504.9s] he looks up oh yeah we would like to enter the vault who are you where
[3513.6s] are you here i just need a fucking name oh sorry yeah amistacia yeah we that's what we've been
[3520.7s] working on all right yeah exactly sir we just need a fucking name okay see the uh amistacia you
[3531.5s] you and you you your names what are your names oh names oh sorry i didn't know what you're
[3538.0s] looking back at them like he reaches and pulls don't be weird reaches and pulls a larger ledger
[3545.3s] oh you guys it okay sorry larger than his scrap piece of paper yeah yeah this is a this is a
[3551.1s] legit ledger and you look down at the scrap piece of paper it looks like he was doodling
[3554.8s] oh nice yeah so you like what you've got going on there it's a hard have boobies
[3561.0s] i don't know what you're talking about he takes his scrap paper and crumples it up
[3565.6s] he begins to look through his ledger and uh yeah yeah okay uh yeah yeah we can put you all in the
[3572.6s] same same vault there you're just dropping off gold what do you you got your you got your
[3578.7s] you want to drop off gold so you can have your your fanny packs or whatever they're making us
[3582.7s] give out now yeah can someone explain this to me like is my fanny pack filled with my
[3589.1s] gold is is it just like do i get like some sort of like special like some sort of special
[3596.6s] card or something that i can then use that accesses my gold from a different location
[3606.6s] i'm asking if it's a debit card is what i'm doing he tosses you a smaller book and is
[3613.1s] like there's your book of options and you begin to flip through it and it's just clothing options
[3623.0s] that will be is this a clothing store am i giving them gold and giving clothing and
[3627.9s] they're making it seem like it's a bank but in actuality i'm just a really high concept store
[3633.4s] because i'm very confused what you do is you put your money in your vault your vault dimensionally
[3640.9s] is linked to whatever garb you choose you reach in you are reaching into your vault
[3649.1s] you can grab your money i like it i will choose this um it's like a like a garter to go around
[3659.4s] your thigh where people could like potentially like put like so it's like a fanny pack for
[3663.6s] your thigh five gold okay okay what do you want i want you know when you go traveling
[3673.7s] not you guys probably but like seniors sure so they get like those necklaces it's like a thing
[3680.3s] it's like a pouch yeah they like wear under their shirts you know for safety so they
[3685.6s] don't get robbed i want one of those yeah he looks down at it and he looks back up to
[3691.3s] yeah five gold okay and you there i'm gonna go with some sort of like over the shoulder tote bag
[3703.7s] like a murse you're asking for a purse aren't you sure yeah why not it's all the rage with
[3708.5s] dwarfs nowadays fancy boy all right that's that's what we call them flint the fancy boy
[3715.5s] 10 gold for you all right whoa it's like a lot more double the price but
[3721.9s] bigger it is a lot bigger you switch to the emblazoned section so what what's emblazoned
[3728.7s] on it puppy dogs puppy dogs are emblazoned on it that's nice i'm on board it's nice yeah and
[3734.2s] so he uh he grumbles and gets up and takes you down another uh lift the upsy downsy device
[3741.8s] and takes you what it seems like you're going for a while and takes you to a a vault points
[3748.7s] to different areas in he's like you put your money there you put your money there you put
[3752.7s] your money there and then uh takes you back up where you get your your your garb and uh you
[3760.0s] reach in and yeah you pull out whatever dollar value money value you want so you no
[3765.9s] longer have weight of money fun well it was holding us back considerably so fun invention
[3772.5s] fun invention russ it's like a little uh little temporal like matrix thing we got going on
[3779.0s] exactly before we head back to the train let's go back to ozarks i want to find out
[3784.7s] about that he he said the words dragon slayer which he did he sure did good words
[3791.5s] i'd like to hear more about that and i gotta find out about that bow i left him yes go back
[3798.1s] in the downsy device and it um it takes you back down to the third floor and you step off
[3803.9s] and you're heading back or you're already in and um uh the uh roller perception check
[3812.3s] 16 yeah you're you're looking for you're looking around for ozark and you bump
[3816.7s] shoulders with somebody um and you turn and you look and you see a female elf but she has like
[3825.5s] ebony dark skin and stark white hair but you look at her and she looks
[3831.2s] astonishingly similar to you aside from those two things almost like if skin tone and hair
[3839.8s] aside like if you were putting up a mirror like she looks like you okay and she looks at you and
[3847.5s] kind of does it step back as well i lean forward i say you're gorgeous
[3855.7s] you as well what's your name
[3861.4s] mia mia famustasia
[3865.0s] uh i'm sorry what mia famustasia
[3875.1s] this is fucked up she you you're continuing looking over she she looks like she's been
[3882.0s] like to war like she's got scars uh scars over part of her face and arms and she carries
[3890.2s] you kind of notice um at her hip some sort of weird weapon and she's dressed in what looks like
[3898.7s] military clothing military fatigues but she's like what what's what's weird
[3905.5s] i mean aside from the fact that we look quite similar well my name is thea
[3914.4s] thea amustasia
[3915.5s] yeah
[3918.3s] kind of oh zark what do you do she hears uh from out in the hall somebody called her name
[3926.6s] um and she's like i i i gotta go are you around here very often no not really we're
[3934.3s] we're about to leave okay well i'm going i'm going off off world for a little bit um
[3941.1s] um which we should touch we should catch up yeah sometime yeah yeah yeah thea
[3950.0s] mea yeah okay okay and she leaves um and ozark comes out and he's like oh you came back good
[3959.1s] i got it cleaned up it's all ready to go it is what i thought it was it's a dragon slayer
[3964.2s] uh tell me more oh tell me more she says tell me more tell me more like does he have a car
[3978.4s] i mean it will help what's a car what's a car like a train car guys train car dragon slayer
[3985.4s] is a war yep oh right yeah um so you get it it'll help a lot so you gain a plus one bonus
[3994.1s] to your attack and damage rolls which i know you hit very hard anyways um made with this
[3999.0s] weapon specifically but when you hit a dragon with this weapon the dragon takes an extra
[4004.2s] three d six damage to this uh weapons type of this weapon so basically this weapon will give
[4013.1s] you two d ten as you hit it with a normal person it will give you two d ten plus three d six if
[4020.5s] you hit a dragon with it and i mean dragon refers to any dragon type creature dragon
[4027.5s] wyvern dragon turtle you name it dragonfly if you can hit a dragonfly i'm sure you wouldn't
[4035.9s] need the extra three d six uh that's neat um oh sorry i just met um i just met mia oh yeah
[4045.4s] what the fuck what do you mean she seems to think you did something and um well just from
[4052.1s] the very short time i've known you i didn't do anything what did what do you think i did
[4057.3s] well i don't know but there's someone walking around out there that looks almost identical to
[4061.1s] me yeah i mean you how long have you guys been here do you not know about the parallel
[4064.7s] fucking world shit no no oh jesus christ we don't have time to get in this now but next time
[4072.7s] i'll have an whole exposition okay there's one of you there's one of you and he's pointing
[4078.2s] around and it's one of you somewhere else in another world and then another world and then
[4084.8s] another world what do you think we're fucking here doing find a dragon i thought you were
[4090.3s] gonna give me that bow back oh yeah i got your bow don't you worry so there's a version of each
[4095.7s] of us in every one of these worlds yeah we've uh we've we're starting to tap into a few of them
[4103.2s] hence hence the doppelganger scenario where yeah there's there's there's some of you's everywhere
[4110.7s] no this is new oh mind blown all right all new information this is all right well if you want
[4116.4s] if you want dancin to wipe that you just let him know on the way out okay i mean or deal with it
[4122.7s] okay yep uh he goes into the back and brings out your arrow or your uh your your book did
[4128.7s] you get a bow or a crossbow it's a bow he gives you a bow and it is great i'll come up with
[4137.3s] something give you something better i didn't look it up beforehand okay better than my
[4140.8s] oh so he explains how great this this bow is which i'll cut in later and it's great
[4147.2s] sounds awesome don't go using it before i come up with that and he's like oh here's a couple
[4152.8s] fun things for the road and he tosses you a couple potions oh god well tell us what they do
[4159.5s] you don't want to just wing it and see what happens i'm done winging it
[4162.9s] well you don't drink them yourself i'll tell well i mean you could drink them yourself
[4167.1s] okay so there's a black potion and more of like a a sparkly rainbow potion
[4174.2s] well if he immediately wants a sparkly rainbow okay well explain the black one first then
[4179.5s] the black potion it turns people into bats for 300 hours jesus i couldn't get the time
[4187.4s] quite right so it just it's a long time and you got three uses with that so you need just
[4192.3s] equivalent of three potions in there um and the rainbowly sparkly one there it turns you into a
[4198.3s] nice unicorn for up to 200 hours it sounds like a child came up with these doesn't it
[4203.8s] and you can switch back and forth with this one to switch you must say please may i turn
[4208.6s] back to a human but really polite child made this right if you if while you're a unicorn
[4216.1s] and you get poked you get mad and you kind of rage out which gives you advantage on
[4221.1s] attack rolls disadvantage on ability checks and enemies have advantage on you so that's what you
[4226.2s] got have fun with it you know use it use it wherever you want i guess thanks i can't wait
[4232.5s] to dose someone with the bat potion do they have to drink it there's yeah oh yeah they
[4237.7s] gotta drink it all right i can't wait for you to hold someone down force feed them the bat
[4242.1s] potion this will be the worst thing that's happened to you this week tastes kind of
[4247.4s] like black licorice mix it in with something it'll it'll get there all right well come back
[4252.1s] you know come back before you know 38 episodes from now we'll see yeah fair enough thanks
[4261.9s] ozark thank you back to the train you guys head back down to the train and dancin standing
[4267.1s] there waiting dancin let's blow this fucking popsicle stand i don't i don't think that's
[4275.5s] a saying damn idea but uh all right your friends have been waiting on the train there dancin why do
[4281.9s] we fall i didn't i didn't prepare a fucking monologue for that i i get on the train
[4291.1s] yeah back on the train you get back in you go to your your suites and uh dancin fires up
[4300.7s] the train and you guys head off towards where are we going we gotta go meet some dragons
[4308.2s] to the mountains which mountain the nether mountains all right you guys motor off
[4316.5s] strangely falling asleep as you do as you do on the train well you know that's the motion
[4321.1s] it's just so comfortable yeah it really is silk sheets after a long travel you wake up
[4329.9s] and you look out the window and you are mountainside as the train pulls to a stop
[4336.0s] at the base of the nether mountains where you are expected to meet the council of the metallic
[4343.0s] dragons
[4368.0s] music in today's episode was by Kavin mcleod of incompetent.filmmusic.io
[4373.1s] we made it we made it we made it i was so proud of us you guys my god we made it
[4381.5s] old man but he's a high pitched old man russ's face while he's trying to remember this voice
[4386.9s] is great y'all i listened to it baby i missed you where are you nope that's flamey kens fuck
[4393.3s] that's definitely flamey kens that foul language
[4397.3s] uh she's such a potty mouth oh oh nope did anyone write down the potions because i'm having a hard
[4404.8s] time finding you all should have wrote down your own potions oh go golly god oh fuck different
[4411.1s] voice don't listen to episode two no do do listen but just you know a little asterisk
[4416.8s] in there russ can't nail a voice down you gotta record yourself i gotta record myself
[4422.3s] i have a recording device i'm ozark god your voice is very similar to my voice
[4428.6s] i know isn't that kind of weird this is this is flamey kens and thaddeus is thaddeus still with
[4434.8s] us is that who's with us like did he die on the train let's let's just say flamey in his
[4440.0s] sleep very peaceful let's just say flamey kens and thaddeus stayed on the train probably
[4444.3s] because they don't have clearance to actually be in here so we'll just that that way this
[4447.9s] voice is ozark's voice okay cut to a different scene that voice is flamey kens voice just less
[4453.6s] swears for ozark we're we're full ask your daughter did she fucking make sense she came
[4461.7s] up with a few potions for me that's awesome i need to punish her for something later
[4470.8s] you didn't forget that you got those i can't believe i remembered and no one wrote it down
[4477.5s] yeah no i definitely didn't have that written down i'm so proud of myself good work good remembering
[4482.7s] thank you remembering is the hardest part of dnd i think oh my god i did write it down fancy
[4489.4s] thigh highs me too uh well when you turn your key yeah i want to do it too but i'm waiting
[4494.7s] for new lar because i have less trust like yeah no like this isn't gonna hurt you but
[4501.5s] siya is a little bit concerned with her looks especially since she's going to be seeing um
[4507.5s] salazar for the first fucking salazar for the first yeah first time in a long time
[4512.1s] as a fucking minion so we just had a sip it can't be that yellow can you are you like
[4519.7s] i'm imagining like banana yellow like totally yellow like the banana candy in the runts like
[4526.3s] that level of yellow is it that level of yellow oh yeah yeah well if it's a prank potion right
[4533.1s] it wouldn't just be like oh you look slightly jaundiced it'd be more like holy shit you my dear
[4547.9s] better be something where i can change it's never good if they have to think about it
[4551.7s] a secretary's desk and there's a a small i think they prefer to be called office administrators
[4557.5s] there's an office administrator's desk and i even wrote that down i even wrote secretary
[4562.5s] and then erased it and wrote office administrator do you actually
[4567.3s] where is it but with your writing how would you ever tell that's a fair point
[4573.2s] yeah yeah so secretary was and i wrote i can actually see right
[4577.6s] oh it's like must be politically correct or not politically um but yeah there's a
[4584.5s] professionally correct yeah Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production